just venting

ive been feeling all sorts of things lately, but mostly i have been trying to not get so caught up in being so materialistic.  truth is when we die the only thing we are taking with us is our souls, and the one thing i want most to take with me are my memories. 

its so easy to get carried away in wanting so many things, when at the end of the day all we're trying to do is survive. 

I ♥ Hair Accesories! I just do!!

Thanks to Pinterest, i've been inspired to buy and try to create more hair pieces.  I snagged this little beauty from yes you guessed it, Forever 21!  I walked in there and it was the first thing that caught my eye, and the last thing I walked out with. 

Back While I Last

You ever have one of those days where you just feel like EVERYTHING is wrong with you?  I've been having a lot of those lately.  I should probably see a doctor for a few of my problems too.  I've been really lightheaded, dizzy, and tired. 

I got off birth control because it was making me depressed, like on the real and the weight gain was no joke.  I felt numb, even though I didn't pick fights with my husband or have mood swings, it made me stay at a constant pace, never truly happy or never sad. 

Well lately i've been feeling depressed.  I don't know if it's the weather, and if it is i'm just so damn sick of the cold and ready for it to be warm again.  I am so over having it be 78 degrees one day then 37 the next.  Worst part is I feel like i'm taking it out on Keenan, but that little man has been testing my patience.  Yesterday I was feeding him lasagna and he didn't want to finish his last bite, so I told him to chew it and he spat in my face.  Man did I blow up, but he truly could see how mad I was so he cuddled for a long time with me to make sure I still loved him.  I will always love him, he was created inside me. 

Macaron's...an accomplishment I feel!

So i've always wondered how these tasted because they are SO cute!!

I watched tutorials over and over again on youtube just so I could get it right.  I made my own almond flour and it was a success..well all of it was thankfully. 

In these macarons..

2 egg whites

1 cup of powdered sugar

3/4 cup of almond flour

raspberry flavoring

1 dot of red food coloring (even though it didn't show up well after baking)

-whip egg whites still they have stiff peaks, fold in sifted almond flour and sugar, add in flavoring and food coloring..pipe and let these sit for 30 min or til they've got a skin.

It's all in the prepping and technique.  If you can get yourself organized first it helps mostly, esp when it comes to baking.  It is also so important to not overfold the egg whites or else you won't get a "foot".  I also baked these at 300 degrees because I could tell these would burn at 375. 

I've Been Juicin'

(1 bunch of kale, 2 green apples, 2 large celery stalks, 1 pear)

Last year I watched a movie on Netflix called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead.  It is an awesome and inspirational movie.  It pretty much makes absolute sense in why we should juice! 

Now I'm not going hardcore juicing straight, but I think it's a really great way to get the nutrients straight into my body and fast!  Knowing my body, I know it takes forever for my food to travel out the other way TMI I know.  It makes sense for me to just drink my food if I can, and RAW because that's the best way to do it.  Overcooked vegetables obviously aren't as nutritionous so, once again, this is the quickest way to get to my system. 

The model of the juicer I bought is called the Breville Ikon Multi-Speed Juicer.  Breville is known for being one of the best juicing brands.  It's also featured in the movie.  I first borrowed one from a friend of mine and I loved it. 

(2 large carrots, handful of blueberries, 2 pears..can't remember but there was a good amount in here too)

I'm going to try to use the pulp in a meatloaf/meatball of chicken patty mix,

Princess Chain ♥

There are people out there who will try to take every drop of sunshine you have out of you.

I love being me (girly, happy, friendly), but sometimes I feel like it's too much for others (even my husband).  At the end of the day, I know that i've survived and I will always be me.  ♥  I find that we balance each other out, my husband and I.  When i'm in the clouds, he pulls me back to earth.  I know he's only doing it so I won't get hurt, and it's simply just the truth.  I bring him back up to earth from hell, where he seems to live most of the time.  I shouldn't call it hell but it's a dark place for sure.  Earth is what we choose to make it, and I choose happy.  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

My Hair ...when i don't style it..

I'm lucky to have straight non frizzy hair when I wake up.  Oddly enough I love wearing it curled though.  Lately i've been concentrating on losing weight for Florida and the summer, so my hair sorta just stays eh.  It looks like I styled my bangs too but they fall like that if I just brush it and leave it like that.  Trying to grow them out though.  *sigh*

i've got florida on my mind

So I've Started Eating Breakfast ...

The title is no joke.  I am horrible at not wanting to eat anything until 2pm or later, but I am forcing myself to wake up earlier to eat breakfast and go to bed earlier.  The later I stay up, the more I just want to snack and rummage through the fridge. 

What's in that omelet?  YUMMY THINGS.  haha

I bought some frozen potato skillet mix so I easily brown that in the pan, then toss in some chopped up sausages (light), eggs, then mozarella cheese in the fold.  It comes out so good, because I love potatoes and have a hard time eating eggs alone.  Hubba likes it too. 

I've also been trying to eat more oranges, the citrus aids in digestion of foods.  I have been feeling better since I've started doing this because it helps regulate my blood sugar..therefore no crabby irritable mom. 

HNY! New Year, New Beginnings ♥♥♥

*photo credits are mine taken in 2010

Lately i've been thinking about starting a cupcake out of home business.  These aren't my cupcakes i've baked, they're from Frostings in Richmond, VA.  The cupcakes were so delicious, I know I am nowhere close to where they are but i'd like to get some rich good melt in your mouth recipes that'd sell.  I'm not looking to make a lot of money out of it, but for hobby and because I enjoy it. 

I'd have to invest time, money, and effort into it.  I'd need a Kitchenaid too!  But I want to learn the science of baking and all the decorating goodness.  This is just something that's sorta been lingering in my mind. 

Only con?  Taste testing and having to work out twice as much!! 

Starting This Year With a Good Outlook

Sunglasses are from K-mart..Selena Gomez collection lol but they fit well.
Scarf from Forever 21. 

ANYWAYS...

This morning I wake up at 11:00am (that's normal for Keenan and I since we stay up late to hang out with Walley to get some family time) and cook me up my favorite lately, a skillet omelet composed of potatoes, onions, peppers, sausage, eggs, and cheese.  Now why is this important for me?  Because I normally don't eat breakfast at all but and I snap at everything, but I've found I am much more patient with Keenan when I do eat and I don't snack as much at night.  that's a good start..

I'm starting Zumba on the Kinect and I am loving it so far!  I needed a new workout routine since I have no motivation to lose weight for our trip to Florida, but Zumba really gets me going.  It's not the usual clubbing music that you listen to over and over on the radio, no sex lyrics or whatever.  Just beats and bumpin. 

Keenan's words are much more clear now and he can tell me how he feels a lot more now.  I know all kids develop at different paces, but as a mother I am proud of him.  I know I should put more effort into teaching him things but he is now just starting to sit still when I read to him.  Love it. 

We have been doing so great with not eating out anywhere lately!  I always bring this up because we seriously used to eat out at least 3 times a week.  That is a lot of money and most of it was because I needed a break.  I have been working so hard on cooking everyday at least once or twice.  It is tiring but well worth the effort, not to add that it's more healthy because I don't use much oil.  Overall i've been proud of myself for making the effort.  There are a lot of restaurants in this town and it's so easy to get carried away, but I don't care much for any of it anymore.  I just want to stay home most of the time. 

Speaking of Florida, I really can't wait to just be in the presence of Florida.  A part of my heart will always be there. 

A few other things I want to try to do this year is get Keenan potty trained and into a school program for a few hours every other day. 

Why is New Years so exciting to people?  Because they can put any of the unwanted past behind them and look forward to starting something new. 

♥♥♥ Dueba Puffy 3 Tone in Brown ♥♥♥

I am loving these!  I will have to try more colors from this line of Dueba.  The colors advertised seem to be true as stated.  These looks more natural and make your eyes stand out because of the color.  It makes my very dark brown eyes this hazel color.  Odd how it's supposed to be brown but looks greenish/hazel to me.

Just some pictures, enjoy. 

Feeling a bit Offended..

just a little rant.  there's a small chance my husband would ever read this blog, but even if he did i don't care. 

we were talking about his online class that he's been taking and he has to write a lot of essays, and i jokingly asked him if he wants me to write a paper for him and he pretty much responds something like NO because i write a lot better than you.  yes i don't capitolize my letters and take time to correct my punctuations on blogger or mostly anywhere else, i haven't been in school for years and the only time i take my time with writing is if i'm taking it seriously. 

seriously though, who does he think i am?  a dumb nut?  ugh, it's not easy having a child period.  i'm the kind of person who likes to concentrate on one important thing at a time and right now it's keenan.

a few things i think about from time to time are the chances i was given to do things with my life.  i know i have let a number of teachers down with my poor decisions i've made, and to think of how they saw great potential in me. 

so why am i offended really?  there are times when i feel like my husband is more in love with the idea of me verses really getting to know me for me.  :/  i said feel, not i know. 

A Better Me - Getting Regular (bathroom wise :P)

Being the clean freak I am and always washing my hands consistently, I know that it's not that easy to get so much bacteria into my body..even the good kind.  As a matter of fact I just read an article talking about how antibiotics makes people fat.  I can believe it truly.  Without good bacteria in the body, we get sick faster and our digestive systems don't work as well because there's not much to help digest the food we eat. 

I researched a few things about probiotics and have tried a few of them.  Key things to look out for our the ones that need to be refrigerated, and acidophilus.  I tried a cheap I mean really cheap acidophilus tablet and I broke out into rashes, then I tried Philips Colon Digestive Health probiotics and those honestly really didn't do much for me. 

With these chewable wafters from American Health, I know that it'll be an instant thing and it tastes good.  I take about 2-3 of these a day before/after meals.  I usually take them before meals especially in the mornings to get things going.  I am really starting to notice that I am going more frequently now verses 3 times a week and having a really hard time. 

Another thing that really helps is that I watch my carb intake because I know that backs me up.  I know a lot of women deal with IBS and probiotics are good for you.

Step 1 to a Better Me - struggling with dark armpits (gross i know)

One thing i've always struggled with are my armpits every since I hit the teen years.  I think I genetically got it though because my sibblings have it too.  I've tried papaya soap and it didn't do anything but dry out my skin.  Then I found this youtube video (i'll share the link at the bottom) and it gave me hope.  I've been trying it out for almost 3 weeks and I have definitely seen an improvement!  If you decide to buy this, use it everyday after you have showered and toweled off, then rub vigorously - not a lot though, just enough. 

I'm starting to feel like I can finally move on with life, especially with the acne going away.  Little by little i'm starting to shine through a lot better. 

here's the link:  http://youtu.be/LpSL8lDHIHg

Trying to get a part of me back.

sigh*  i love being a mommy and wife, i really do.  but i know i've lost a lot of my interests and who i used to be, now that keenan is getting a bit older and more independent, i feel like i can finally "improve" myself.  i have gained some weight back (sucks i know) but i am determined to live a healthier life. 

the hubs and i have barely dined in at any restaurant since we've been back and i am so proud, not to mention how much money we are saving.  we are planning to go to florida in april so i am definitely working on losing the weight, but not only that but because i am sick of having this extra weight on me. 

i'm taking a birth control that is working well for me and it's controlling my acne.  i hardly ever break out and i am ever so joyful for it.  i can finally work on getting rid of the scars and wearing less foundation.  honestly though, i'll always wear some form of powder/foundation on my skin because i hate being shiny.  it does feel good to not have to look into full coverage foundations anymore, i know i prefer that coverage but it feels good to not have to worry about another pimple popping up. 

hubs has been running twice a week or more and it's motivating me to workout.  my hair is growing and keenan is learning so fast.  not to mention not having to be scared of being pregnant all the time. 

i am determined to just make a better future for us even if it means being a slave to the kitchen half the day to prepare meals so we dont have to eat out.  i'm all about preparation when it comes to cooking so it takes a lot of time. 

♫ Baby It's Cold Outside ♫

I've never had apple cider before, but I LOVE it!  I'm going to get the regular kind next time though, the fake sugar in this makes me hungry afterwards..eek!  BUT, i love the smell this makes when it's made with hot steaming water. 

Can't Help It If I Love Being A Girl ‼ ♥

Oh yes he did, a sweet Christmas present!  All of these polishes are pigmented and a good formula.  Two coats give me complete coverage.  The only downside about this is that they aren't named on the bottle, just on the box.  i LOVE! ♥

Pulled Pork 10 Hour Slow Cooker

2lbs of seasoned boneless pork shoulder roast 10 hours later in the slow cooker...

and everything pulled apart so easily..YUM

I ♥ Sigma's Synthetic Kabuki Brushes!

Christmas sorta came early, but never the less I love that my husband thought of me! 

These brushes are awesome, today was my first day using the round kabuki brush to apply my foundation and I actually had extra foundation left on the back of my hand because the brush was so dense it didn't soak up much foundation.  ♥!

Hollister's Yoga Leggings Don't Fail Me

A quick review:  These have a tight folded waistband that keep it in place.  I personally don't find these leggings to be a *ahem* camel toe problem issue, and these do make your butt look good :)